Feeling (not so) Thankful

Well, we had a wonderful Thanksgiving with Brian's parents in Lubbock. Susan!!! I made pies!!! Check it out- they actually turned out decent!!!


Apple Pie


Buttermilk Pie

It was just a great time of togetherness and family, and forgetting. (I mean how when you leave town, you get to forget about everything at home that weighs you down, and just be happy-go-lucky for a few days.)

Then, we were driving home yesterday, and it all just slapped me in the face. (You know, all the stuff that you left at home comes rushing towards you at 100 miles an hour, ready to greet you!) I wanted to keep driving and driving, because as long as we were driving, I wouldn't have to face reality.

You're probably wondering what's going on here that I wouldn't want to come home... And I don't want to bore you with the details. (Truthfully, that's a cop-out. I'm just not ready to share yet.) But please, please be praying for wisdom for Brian and me. We really need your prayers right now. I promise I will let you know what's going on once I feel ready.

Anywho, having this weight kind of hanging over me all weekend, I haven't really stopped and really thought about all I have to be thankful for. I sat down to write this post, and there was another slap in the face! I feel so self-absorbed for not having spent some time over the holiday really listing out the things (people, events, etc.) that I have to be thankful for this year and giving honest, straightforward thanks to God for all He's given me. So that is on my agenda for this week... I'll give you a taste now, but I do so with the caveat that this is what I'm thankful for, and by no means am I intending to boast about all I have (because I know that I have a TON to be thankful for...):

1) Family. My family is healthy. My family is happy. My family truly loves and cares for each other. So many other families cannot say the same this holiday season, and I feel so richly blessed to be able to say this. There have been reminders this entire past year that our life as we know it is fleeting, and anything can be gone in a blink of the eye- I WILL not take this blessing for granted.

2) My God. I think that too often I expect that God will just be there for me all the time, so I can choose to "leave" Him, or neglect to spend time with Him, and He'll be there when I get back. And it's true- He WILL be there for me when I return. However, I have been so incredibly challenged this year to stay "in touch" with God at all times. Asking Him about everything that's going on, thanking Him for small blessings, just chatting with Him about my day. It's an intimacy that I've never known before, and it's changed me. I'm not the same, and I'm very thankful for that!

3) My Husband. I'm madly in love with him!! This year has been hard. We've had to make a lot of tough decisions together, and the love that has grown between us in spite of these hard times is amazing. I know that it's God bringing us closer and closer together, and having seen how love blooms despite the stormy weather, I treasure those years to come, when I know our love will grow even more.

4) New Friends. Words cannot express what your presence in my life has meant this past year. I've had the extreme pleasure of getting to know a group of ladies this past year who I CANNOT imagine my life without. We knew each other before this year started (met last year) but '08 finds us in a new place. We've shared some incredible times, and we've shared some rough times, and now, I'm not "me" without "them". I love you, I truly do!

5) Old Friends. Is it weird to be thankful for Facebook?!?!? (Uh, yeah, think so...) But regardless, I am! I joined the Facebook revolution this year and have re-kindled old friendships that I thought were long gone. I couldn't be happier to have these folks back in my life, however far away they are. We've been able to share some truly authentic times together. Some more gut-wrenching than I ever thought possible, and some more blissful than I've ever dreamed of. I thank you for your willingness to have me back in your life (from a looooong distance)!

6) The Team. My rock. You mean more than you'll ever know.

There's a ton more that I could list, but this is what counts. This is what I know I could not live without. This is what I know God has blessed me with. It's not things. It's not stuff. It's people who love me more than I deserve. Thank you- I'm thankful for you.