Beautiful Mess

Can I be cheesy for a second? I love my sweet husband!! I was reminded of such an incredible memory today. I have a country station that I've built on Pandora, and today it played "Beautiful Mess" by Diamond Rio. What you may not know is that this song came out just shortly after Brian and I started dating.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xmYiA6X1b-8

He burned me a CD with that song on it, before I'd ever heard the song. I remember him shyly handing me the CD as I was leaving his apartment one day. I listened to it in the car, and was blown away by how perfectly it fit our budding relationship. In fact, I listened to the song SO much during that time that my sorority sisters started making fun of us. We did NOT care-- we were WAY in love.

Man, I remember that summer ('02) and I'm still amazed at how God made this man JUST for me. There was no denying it to anyone who saw us together- we were completely head over heels for each other, and giddy.

It would be another 18 months till he proposed, and another 25 months till we said I do, but we knew. Summer '02 was when Brian first came to the lake with my family. It was the summer I went on my first trip with his family (I got a piece of plastic in my eye, and we had to go to the Wal-Mart optometrist in Carlsbad, NM- a shining moment for me...) Summer '02 was when I was a nanny for SIX children all summer, and Brian would bring me sweet notes and leave them on my windshield for me to find when I left for the day.

It was the summer we took this picture:



Um, yes. We were infants.

Did you know that Brian still kisses me on the hand every time we hear the Beautiful Mess song? He still opens my door when we get in the car, and kisses me before he closes it. He's still my perfect match, the man God made just for me. He still gives me "funny tummy". You know what I'm talking about- that feeling you got right before you answered the door on your first date with YOUR one?

Just thought you might want to know what I was up to around this time 7 years ago... I was obsessed with this song...

Giddy UPDATED

UPDATED:

Brian claims that I am trying to kill him. He told me once he read my original blog post that he was not going to eat the bee pollen because it comes from a bee's butt. (I don't actually know if this is accurate, but he knows more about stuff than I do, so I wouldn't doubt it.) Anywho, I added the pollen to his oatmeal on Friday thinking he would never know and would just eat it, and I would proudly tout that I had tricked him into eating bee pollen. As it turns out, when you cook bee pollen, its gross. (Honestly, it's kind of gross anyway, but if you swallow quickly, it just pretty much tastes like a vitamin.) BUT, when you COOK it, it smells nasty, you know, kind of like a vitamin. Cooked.

Anyhow, he didn't eat his oatmeal on Friday, but heated it up today for breakfast. He started out by saying that it looked funny, and then when he ate a bite, he said that it was pretty gross. He asked me if oatmeal could go bad, and I told him that it was probably just the bee pollen. He jumps up and says "You're trying to kill me!!!" Apparently, he claims he's highly allergic to pollen in microscopic forms, and that my oatmeal-pollen concoction might kill him.

I'm not convinced, and you think he would mention HIS ALLERGY as the top reason he shouldn't eat pollen, not that it comes from a bee's butt.

Regardless, I have a large tub of bee pollen that I have to eat by myself.
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Original Post:

Okay, raise your hand if you DIDN'T know that I'm a dork. We-ell, welcome to reality, folks! I'm about as dorky as they come!!

So, I'm beside myself with glee. No, not that Glee, (although, I'm positively hysterical over the prospect of watching that show this fall. Have you SEEN the pilot, people?? It's magical. But I digress....)

I went to the farmer's market today. Georgia's Farmers Market in Plano, to be exact. Oh, the smells. The glorious colors. I was overwhelmed with the desire to whip out my camera and begin shooting the precious wicker baskets of berries, and to capture the perfect purple of the eggplant! (I withheld- I didn't want to have to explain that I wanted to post the pictures to my blog to the 92-yr-old market manager, and then get into what a blog actually was...)

So, instead, I made my selections, practically skipping down the aisle with my basket, ogling the pineapples and thumping watermelons. I'm telling you, this is the most excited I've been since I last purchased school supplies (and THAT was a good day!!)

AND THEN. I discovered IT. I had HEARD of IT, but in fact never seen IT. Bee pollen. Being touted as THE perfect food. You take a teaspoon a day, and you supposedly live for 500 years. Hello!! (It's also supposed to be a great remedy for allergies, which you know Brian suffers from.)

The 92-yr-old market manager rang me up and bagged my goodies. (At this point, I'm salivating over my grape tomatoes- jeez, I need more excitement in my life!)

Sooooo, take a look!! (Keep in mind- I'm NO photographer. I cannot for the life of me figure out how to make my camera do the cool focus thing where the background is fuzzed out. Just imagine that these pictures make you weep with the beauty of the strawberry texture. They don't- but just imagine.)



Can you smell the cantaloupe?? (I can!)



Check out this bee pollen. I asked the 92-yr-old market manager what it tasted like, and he said that its nutty. Hmm. This could be good or bad... But, if I live for 500 years, who cares??

I'm off to cut fruit!! Yeah!!!

Regret

I've often said that there is nothing that I would change about my life and past, because that's what made me who I am today. I know that God brought me through all of those experiences to grow me into the friend, wife, daughter, professional and sister He wants me to be.

But recently God's laid some stuff on my heart that I need to apologize for.

When I was in high school, I behaved as many people do, I'm sure. Trying very hard to be "cool" and being SO wrapped up in what people thought of me that I didn't really analyze what I thought of me (ironically enough, I was actually really far from being cool. Not like now, emitting "cool" vibes everywhere I go. But I digress...) While I was a "good" girl, my regret lies in the way I behaved in order to feel better about myself.

There was one girl who got to me. I felt justified in behaving atrociously towards her because she was "mean" to me. Or so I thought. Kind of a chicken and egg situation here- I don't know who behaved badly first. Regretfully, I really should have been a much better Christian example (we were friends in junior high, and I took her to church with me a couple of times.) My fear- is this how she thinks Christian friends should act?

I haven't seen her since the day we graduated high school, and at that point, probably had not spoken a word to her directly since Sophomore year. (I spoke words ABOUT her, not to her. Those, I think, are the worst kind of words...)

Fast forward.... So for several years, I've had it on my heart to find her and apologize. Seriously, I think about it quite often. I could never find her. I checked Facebook about once a month for her name. I've googled her. I've even searched our local hometown newspaper's website for her name thinking I might find a marriage announcement.

Today after my Bible study, I was praying and her name just popped into my mind. I don't know why, but I prayed that if God would have me find her, that He would give me the words to say. Lo and behold, I searched Facebook again for her name. And there it was. Top listing. I'm not kidding- I've routinely searched for her, as recently as a month ago, and her name WAS NOT there.

So I messaged her. I said what I really felt God had put on my heart to say. And now, I wait. I made sure to tell her that I didn't expect a response, because who knows how she'll feel about my message? But I wait. And I wonder- why?? Why her? Why now? Why? And the answer is, I may never know. But God does. I know far too much about our sweet Lord to think that this is a coincedence.

I regret my behavior. But I relish the fact that I serve a God who can use that behavior to grow my faith, and who WILL use that behavior, however un-Godly, in some way to grow His kingdom.