Regret

I've often said that there is nothing that I would change about my life and past, because that's what made me who I am today. I know that God brought me through all of those experiences to grow me into the friend, wife, daughter, professional and sister He wants me to be.

But recently God's laid some stuff on my heart that I need to apologize for.

When I was in high school, I behaved as many people do, I'm sure. Trying very hard to be "cool" and being SO wrapped up in what people thought of me that I didn't really analyze what I thought of me (ironically enough, I was actually really far from being cool. Not like now, emitting "cool" vibes everywhere I go. But I digress...) While I was a "good" girl, my regret lies in the way I behaved in order to feel better about myself.

There was one girl who got to me. I felt justified in behaving atrociously towards her because she was "mean" to me. Or so I thought. Kind of a chicken and egg situation here- I don't know who behaved badly first. Regretfully, I really should have been a much better Christian example (we were friends in junior high, and I took her to church with me a couple of times.) My fear- is this how she thinks Christian friends should act?

I haven't seen her since the day we graduated high school, and at that point, probably had not spoken a word to her directly since Sophomore year. (I spoke words ABOUT her, not to her. Those, I think, are the worst kind of words...)

Fast forward.... So for several years, I've had it on my heart to find her and apologize. Seriously, I think about it quite often. I could never find her. I checked Facebook about once a month for her name. I've googled her. I've even searched our local hometown newspaper's website for her name thinking I might find a marriage announcement.

Today after my Bible study, I was praying and her name just popped into my mind. I don't know why, but I prayed that if God would have me find her, that He would give me the words to say. Lo and behold, I searched Facebook again for her name. And there it was. Top listing. I'm not kidding- I've routinely searched for her, as recently as a month ago, and her name WAS NOT there.

So I messaged her. I said what I really felt God had put on my heart to say. And now, I wait. I made sure to tell her that I didn't expect a response, because who knows how she'll feel about my message? But I wait. And I wonder- why?? Why her? Why now? Why? And the answer is, I may never know. But God does. I know far too much about our sweet Lord to think that this is a coincedence.

I regret my behavior. But I relish the fact that I serve a God who can use that behavior to grow my faith, and who WILL use that behavior, however un-Godly, in some way to grow His kingdom.

Color Me Exhausted

Well, I'm pooped. Or at least I was until I took a loooong nap on Sunday afternoon.

We had a crazy week last week followed by an equally crazy weekend. Run down:

Monday: Work (duh) and then went over to Mel's to watch the wedding video, look at pictures and generally squeal at the fact that SHE'S MARRIED!! Then David (her hubby) lent me tree-trimming tools.

Tuesday: Work and then dinner, planning and shopping for Amanda's baby shower

Wednesday: Work (are you seeing a theme here?!!?), cleaning master bath and then to Amanda's to help prep her house for the SEVEN house guests she was having come in for the shower (moving furniture, ripping tape of freshly painted walls, cleaning Madison's room, bathing Madison, cleaning Madison's bathroom...) FYI, I don't do this stuff for just anyone. You have to be REALLY special.

Thursday: Work and steam cleaning the carpet (which didn't work- stupid steam cleaner spit the nasty dirty water back out onto the carpet which equaled a few choice words from me... Oops.) And cleaning the guest bathroom. AND, the great tree-trimming extravaganza of 2009.

Friday: Work (sort of) and cleaning of the entire rest of the house. Then Christy and Jae came over to prep everything for the shower the next day.

Saturday: SHOWER!!! Whoo-hoo!!! We had so much fun throwing this fiesta for Amanda, and she got some great stuff! (Oh, and a special thanks to my sweet husband who pitched in at the last second with a few quicky errands once I realized I was OUT OF TIME to finish everything.)



Table set-up



Gifts

Side-note: Amanda's aunt brought this giant bear you see in the corner as a gift for Madison. Speaking as someone who's recently seen (and cleaned!) Madison's room (remember Wednesday night?!?!), there is NO room for this thing!! But, Madison loved it, which I guess was the point, and I guess is the point of aunts. They get to buy really cool gifts and then send the kiddos home to Mom and Dad with NO consequences... Love it!!



Hostesses with Amanda & Madison

After the shower, it was off to Mel and David's reception. We loved getting to see them so happy and in love!



The happy couple



The other happy couple (us!!) You may notice a, ahem, "glow" about us here. That's because we're so in love. It has nothing to do with the fact that we (I) were sweating like pigs in the lovely outdoor reception setting.



Lindsay, Me and Mel

(Again, we're- I'm- glowing. Not sweating.)

Whew. It was a fun and exhausitng week. On Sunday after church, I almost cried when Brian suggested that we take the dog for a walk. He looked at me like the psycho I am until I told him that I needed a four hour nap. So, we went home and that's what I did- nap. Until it was time to host life group.

Whew. Okay. That's OFFICIALLY the end of the week. Unfortunately, the next day was Monday, and thus, we start all over again! Dang Mondays....

I. AM. A. ROCKSTAR.

I'm not kidding. I am friggin' awesome.

Normally I do not brag like this, but yesterday, I rocked my world....

Our trees out in front of our house are pretty huge. We've never had such large trees, and thus have never had to worry about, you know, tree upkeep. Well, we're hosting Amanda's baby shower here tomorrow, and so I became concerned about the tree limbs that were hanging over the sidewalk, at perfect height to knock some unassuming guest across the forehead as they trotted merrily up my sidewalk. Hello, lawsuit!!

So, I figured that we had to trim the trees. Being the ever budget-minded individual I am, I figured we could do it ourselves. I mean, how hard could this be?!?! We didn't have any tools for such a huge job, so I figured we would either a) rent some for Home Depot, or b) borrow some.

I went over to Mel's on Monday night (she's married!! Reception this weekend- pics to come...) and saw that their house had some huge trees. I asked her hubby David if he had the tools needed to trim them, and he offered to let me borrow them. (Actually, he offered to come trim the trees for me, and in retrospect, I'm SO glad I didn't let him, because it was a HUGE job.)

I let Brian know when I got home that he had a big job on his hands (he was pumped.... or not.) So Thursday rolls around, and I have the afternoon kind of free, and I got antsy....

SIDE NOTE: If you've spent any time with me at all, you know that if I get an idea in my head, there's really not anything to stop me from going through with said idea, other than my husband.

So I didn't tell him my plan. I went outside with my tools, and started trimming. Just small branches at first, but then I had to saw (yes, saw. I did not use any automated or electric tools- this was all done by pure "Kelli" power.) Some serious branches and trunks. I so wish I had been in my right mind to take pictures of all the branches after I was done, but at this point, I was a little dizzy and dehydrated, had cut my ankle on a cedar tree, had a fire ant bite on my pinky toe (?!?!?) , had a wood chip in MY EYE (yes, I wore protective glasses- this went around the glasses) AND I still had to figure out what to do with the branches.



This is the PILE of branches I had to drag from the front of the house around to the back. I dragged them. I did not use the truck.



This is one of the branches I sawed off.



I'm still very ticked that I didn't think to get "Before" pictures, but here's an after picture that shows HOW big ONE of the trees is (that's right, I trimmed two of these big trees, and also sawed off a dead cedar trunk (that's on the very left corner of the house- the cedar that looks like it's missing it's top? That's because it is...)

Wow. I'm very impressed with me. Thanks to the Lord that I did not kill myself, cut off any appendages, or get a concussion. Brian was impressed, but also very frustrated that I would do something like this without him around. He was pretty sure that I had messed it up until he got home and saw that it actually turned out okay... :-)

BTW, the Twitter feed on my right column is not mine. I don't know who's it is, but apparently, I've lost my Twitter name somehow, and you're now getting to see some random person's Twitter feed until I figure out what the heck's happened....