Ugly Cake

So, I have some news. I'm not perfect. Wait, what?!?! You already knew that???

Well, further incriminating evidence of my imperfection has come to light. Boo.

A couple of Saturdays ago was Brian's 29th birthday. (He swears its the last one he's ever going to celebrate, but I digress.) We've been on a tight budget for quite a while, and so there was no expectation of any big presents or anything, but I've always insisted that birthdays are BIG deals, no matter what. (Note to all friends out there- birthdays are freaking big deals. Don't forgot it.) Anywho, I started out the day well enough, waking before Brian and watching TV in the living room until he woke up. And then he woke up. We had breakfast, watched college game day, etc. He got on the phone with his Mom and Dad for a long convo and CRAP!!! I completely forgot to tell him Happy Birthday!!! As soon as I realized my error, I ran out into the garage where he was on the phone, screaming "Happy Birthday!" at the top of my lungs. As if screaming it louder would overcome the fact that I'd forgotten for the last 2 hours.

So we go on about our day, we talk about what he wants to do that day, what kind of cake he wants (CRAP!! I'd forgotten to get the stuff for his favotrite cake!!), etc. So I go to the grocery store and get all the stuff for strawberry cake plus the stuff he wants for dinner. I come home, and start whipping up the perfect strawberry cake (except it's not- this is the cheap recipe that doesn't require 2 pints of fresh berries, variety of unusual ingredients, etc. This is the cheap substitute.)

Because we've only been in this house for a short time, I've not had the chance to really do a lot of cooking in this oven. So even though I put the cake in for two minutes less than the shortest recommended time, the edges were very crispy. So I cut the edges off (and ate them- don't judge me.) and waited for the cake to cool. Once cool, I started icing the cake. And I don't know where I went wrong. The icing was just not working with me. It stuck in all the wrong places, pulling bits of cake off, and then I couldn't get it to stick in the ragged nooks and crannies (where I had chopped of the crispy edges.) You know how you start with a vision of how something is going to look, and it just doesn't end up that way? Well, once my cake was iced, it was not the picture-perfect birthday cake.

So, I decided to add sprinkles. That's what everyone does when their (insert pastry good here) isn't looking so good, right?? I went for red because it's Brian's favorite color. What I got was a poor excuse for a birthday cake. Don't judge me.



Now, I know my friend Susan is laughing hysterically right now, because she's apparently great at this stuff. She competes in this stuff, people, and I know right now she is thinking "How does something end up looking that bad? Remind me to NEVER let Kelli near my kitchen!"

Anyhow. So I make Brian the ugliest cake I've ever seen (ok, maybe not the ugliest, but it does look like the cake you made when you were in the third grade and decided to make your mom a cake for her birthday!) AND I forgot to get him a card when I was at the grocery store.

I suck. I know. I'm the worst wife- and the worst baker- there ever was. The cake, I'm sad to inform you, was not great. It tasted like it was out of a box. Which it was. Because, let's say it together, I'm the worst wife ever.

But I think Brian may have liked it. :)

Don't judge me.