fragile

One year ago at this time, Brian and I were in the ER. My dear friend Christy was playing Yahtzee with me as we laughed at Brian snoring while lying in the bed next to us. He had been in pain all through the night, and finally at 7am, gave in and let me call the doctor.

The doc couldn't determine what was wrong and sent us to the ER for an ultrasound (I think...) After 20 or so minutes watching my husband rock in pain in the chair next to me, tears streaming silently down his face, I'd had enough, and started making a stink. Polite at first, then downright stubborn and on the verge of crying, I stood in front of the nurses station for 15 minutes before they agreed to open a new wing of the ER for Brian.

The ultrasound (or whatever) determined what we'd feared- Brian's appendix needed to come out. At first, we were fine with that. We had insurance, so that was okay... Both of our parents were busy and we determined they shouldn't make the trip.

So Christy came. We played Yahtzee as the time for Brian's surgery was pushed back again and again. Finally, at around 7:15pm, a nurse came and moved us to a room on the surgery floor. A nonchalant anesthesiologist came and started Brian on his loopy meds. I asked all the questions I'd heard my daddy ask in these type of situations before (he's almost a doctor, you know...) And they took Brian away.

Heath came and Christy left. Eric & Lindsay came, and we ate while we waited. And then, a nurse came in and said that they were having a hard time waking Brian up from surgery. And then, the surgeon came in and said that the appendix had ruptured and Brian would have to stay overnight. And then, the surgeon came back in and said that Brian had suffered flash pulmonary edema, and was essentially drowning as his lungs filled with fluid. Brian would be admitted to ICU.

How did this happen? How did we go from eating dinner together one night, and then spending the following night in the ICU? After Heath and Eric and Lindsay left that night, I sat on the pullout bed, feeling nothing. I think that God was sedating me so I wouldn't freak out, actually.

It wasn't then, or in the rough days that followed. It wasn't as I watched friends do more for us than I could have ever imagined or asked for. It wasn't when we finally got to go home three days later. It was when we went in for a follow-up appointment and the doctor looked at us and said to Brian "You could have died. People die from this every day." It was then that I grasped the fragility of life as I know it.

I thank God that this Christmas, I get to be with my husband, and I thank God that we're both healthy. I know that this specific prayer hasn't been answered for some, and my heart breaks for them. We are fragile beings- thank God for your loved ones today.

Holiday Cheered- Party of One!

I must confess, I stole this blog post title from a friend of mine, Kelsey (I would link to her webpage if I could but the page doesn't seem to be loading properly, so I'm just giving written credit instead.)

Onward!!

I got an early start on the holidays this year, because I refuse to be bah-humbuggy this Christmas. I don't know how familiar you are with our family, but this is the 3rd year in a row that we're strapped for cashola. (Shout out, all you small business owners out there!) And, last year, Brian's appendix exploded on December 16, so, you know, the ICU put a damper on things...

This year, I refused to not buy gifts. I refused to not be in the Christmas spirit. I refused to procrastinate so long that buying a gifts took a really large chunk of one month's budget. I got started early, and bought my first gifts in October!! (I know some of you holiday whizzes out there are usually DONE by October, but for a gal who runs out to purchase a last minute gift after Christmas Eve service on December 24, this was a HUGE improvement.)

So, by spreading gift purchases out, we've been able to buy a (very small) something for everyone on our list. It required planning and forethought. But you know what? It put me in the holiday mood! Every time I purchased something, I immediately came home and wrapped it. Wrapped gifts littered the top of my closet until the tree went up (the day after Thanksgiving- thanks, Mommy!!)



Aside from the tree, I also decorated our dining room table. I feel very grown up to have a dining room table to decorate... Brian thought everything looked so good that we should throw a holiday open house, but I'm not 40 yet, so I don't think that a "Holiday Open House" should be allowed....



But I digress... Are you "cheered" this year? What would you have to do to get that way? Sure, I know there are some challenges that you're facing that might make the holidays difficult. Can I say this without sounding tacky?? Everyone has challenges. Ours is financial right now, but it's a personal decision I've made to NOT let that get in the way of celebrating my Savior's birth this season. Make a decision for yourself (because you can't control anyone else!) to be cheered, right now. Merry Christmas!!

6 Years Ago Today...

Six years ago today, Brian and I went here....



to the Texas Tech University Carol of Lights event. We stood here...



in Texas Tech's Memorial Circle, where Brian had asked me on our first date on February 14, 2002, as we watched the campus come to life with lights. After all the songs were sung, and people started walking back to their vehicles, Brian started to read this....


Telling me he was going to read the Christmas story to get us in the mood for the season, he instead started reading about how God made Eve from Adam, Adam's perfect match and mate. He read about the holy union of marriage, and how husbands should love and honor their wives. Then, finally glancing up to meet my eyes, he stated the obvious-- "Well, that wasn't the Christmas story..." And, getting down on one knee, with all other Carol of Lights attendees staring at us, he gave me this...



And made me the happiest girl in the world!



Love you, Baby! I'd say "yes" again, a million times over.